


Shattering Sanity

by Biana_Amberly_Vacker



Series: KOTLC Different Perspectives [2]
Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 18:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30076107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biana_Amberly_Vacker/pseuds/Biana_Amberly_Vacker
Summary: Alden’s mind break—from Alden’s perspective! What’s it like in a broken mind?
Series: KOTLC Different Perspectives [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206287





	Shattering Sanity

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that it’s so short, I promised myself I’d post on the 15th, but my computer decided to fuck with me, soooooo...... we got ourselves this piece of trash!

Shattering Sanity  
(Spoilers for Exile)

“She told me to ‘follow the pretty bird across the sky.’ Does that mean anything?” my heart was still pounding from what Sophie just did. That girl is so reckless. But, in her situation, who can blame her? It’s not like there’s a reason to worry.  
“I…” suddenly a sharp pain raced through my head. I let Sophie go and buried my head in my hands.  
“Are you okay?”  
“My head… I’m just…” I press my palms against the sides of my forehead. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. And I know you think this is what the Black Swan meant for you to find, but Prentice isn’t capable of having rational, coherent thought anymore.”  
“Couldn’t part of him still be there somewhere? Locked deep away?”  
“Let’s hope not, Sophie. Let’s hope for Prentice’s sake that he’s not even aware he’s still alive. To be trapped forever in constant madness would be a far worse fate. Far, far worse.” I shuddered. The headache could not go away. I rubbed my temples, wincing at every touch. I was almost afraid to ask this question.  
“Did you see anything else?”  
“Nothing that made sense. It was all such a jumble of images. The only other thing I really recognized was you.” That knocked me back a step.  
“Me?”  
“I’m pretty sure it was you. I saw a face with teal jewels for eyes. It leaned in to stare at me, and then it whispered, ‘no reason to worry.’” Oh. He… remembers?  
“Th—that was the last thing I said to him. Before the break. He begged me to make sure his family stayed safe and I promised he’d have no…” I trailed off, unable to finish. I realize I’m shaking. “He remembers. I can’t believe—I never thought he—I—” my head falls into my hands and I could feel myself slipping as wave after wave of guilt washed over me. Not now. Please not now. I need to tell Sophie what to do. I need to tell her so many things.  
“My head,” is all I say instead. And then I’m gone.  
Alden. Alden. Alden. Come back. Please come back, Alden. Please. You’re scaring Fitz. I told him what’s going on, and you’re scaring him. You’re scaring me. Please, Alden. I need you. I’ll be lost without you. I need you, Alden. Come back. Please.  
I break into a cough.  
“What happened?”  
“I don’t know—you just collapsed and you wouldn’t wake up.” Sophie starts crying. The realization of what just happened hit me like a freight train.  
“Oh, Sophie, I’m sorry. I thought… I don’t even know.” I fumbled with the pendant and held it next to the magsidian  
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————  
I’ve been fighting the break day by day. Minute by minute. If I could hold on before, I can hold on now. For my family. Fitz and Biana looked so good doing their dances, Sophie too, and all that’s left is the elite dedication. The Splendors are blooming. It really is a pretty sight. Pretty until I spot Wylie dancing in his uniform. I wonder if he wishes his dad could be there to see him.  
“That’s Wylie, isn’t it?” Sophie whispered.  
“Yes, I believe it is.”  
“Do you think he blames me for what happened to his father?” that is a ridiculous question.  
“No, Sophie. He blames me.” and I could feel the cracks widen. “Keep it together, Alden.” I think. “Keep it together.” The music fades, and the prodigies bowed. Dame Alina’s voice cut through the silence, but I could barely hear what she was saying. The cracks are too wide now. There’s nothing I can do.  
“What’s wrong?” Della asks. Oh, Della, my beautiful wife. If only you knew.  
“My head…” I say.  
“What’s wrong, dad?” Fitz asks. Fitz. I’ve failed you, Fitz.  
“I—I can’t—” I collapse, both into my son’s arms and into the cracks.  
Flashes of things. People. Della whispered something sweet into my ear that I try to but cannot hear. Fitz enters my mind. I want to tell him that it’s not safe. But he gets sucked in for a moment before someone pulls him free. Sophie tries to enter my mind too. Tries to fix me like she thought she could do with Prentice. But she almost got lost, too. Of course she did. Tiergan, too, although I think that’s more confirmation than anything else. Being a talented Telepath, he can pull himself free, but only barely. Most people leave me alone after him. Just Elwin to give me some medicine. Sometimes I’m awake. Then my head hurts and I can’t think about anything because of the pain. Sometimes I’m asleep. Then I don’t hurt at all, but my mind is awake. Or maybe asleep. Or maybe it’s always asleep. Maybe it’s been so long I’ve forgotten what the difference is. Speaking of time, how long has it been since that day at the Opening Ceremonies? Seconds? Minutes? Days? Weeks? Months? Maybe even years? There’s no way to tell. Not here. Where is here? Am I still at the Opening Ceremonies, slumped in my son’s arms? Am I home, at Everglen? Or… am I in Exile, where everyone else with broken minds go? I wish I knew. I wish I hadn’t failed everyone. But I did. I let myself get drowned in guilt, and now I must suffer the consequences.  
Sophie was entering my mind again. Stupid choice. Except… she felt different this time. Stronger. She was going deeper, deeper, deeper… and somehow all the time in control. Alden? Her call filled my mind, in the endless empty space in place of the pain. It’s Sophie. I’m here to help you. Please be here. Please have enough left for me to rescue you. She repeated those words until my head was nothing but an echo chamber. She filled my head with happy places, feelings, sounds. In the beginning, they were all swallowed by the emptiness, but the more she transmitted, the longer they stayed, until they seemed to wrap around her consciousness. In a raging surge, they led her to a place in my heads where everything seemed different. Like a safe place. Alden! She called my name over and over again, until all the calls stopped for a few minutes. Just when I thought she’d left, a blast of love shot into my mind. Pure, undiluted love, swimming through my mind as more and more images, feelings, sounds rushed into my head, awakening parts of me I thought were long dead. I was close. I was so close to coming back. People love you, Alden. People need you. Come back for them. She repeated the call, until I was at the brink. The brink of coming back. I can fix Prentice. Those four words, those magical four words, spilled my consciousness over, blasting up, up, up, until… Alden? I formed my energy into two words, the most important two words I’ll ever speak. I’m back. And, for the first time in a long while, I opened my teal eyes.


End file.
